terrible jokes...

[Onion]

fuuuuuuuuck, lol

[19nate79]

Whats the difference between a gay man and a straight mans moustache?
The smell

[Serge Storms]

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

Hahahaha, god damn!

Bravo sir.

[BulldogWrestler]

Hilarious Skinny. Best new joke I've heard in awhile.

[spasgur]

Skinny's joke is one of the best so far.

[19nate79]

What's twelve inches long, purple, and makes women scream?

A stillborn

[Onion]

Damn, this one is nasty...

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.

"What was that?" The others asked her.

"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."

A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked.

"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."

They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked her.

"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this ****ing sweater!"

I had to google thalidomide, so the joke didn't work for me.

[Mingus]

A man steps into an elevator, where there's a gorgeous woman waiting for her floor.

He says "Ma'am, can I smell your pussy?"

She freaks out of course, and says no.

The man says, very casually, "Hmmm. Must be your feet."

[Str8Ryt]

A guy hears about a really nice bar on the top floor of a high rise and decides to go check it out.

Walk's in and orders a beer. The guy next to him orders some drink that he has never heard of. He drinks it down and then get's up, runs and jumps out the window.

The guy stands up and runs to the window. He looks down to the street and see's the guy calmly walking away. He goes home baffled.

The next day he goes back to the same bar. To his surprise that same guy who jumped out the window is there drinking.

The guy orders the weird drink again and after he drinks it he once again runs and jumps out of the window.

Again the guy runs and looks down to the street to see the guy walking away without a scratch on him.

So he says fcuk it give me what he just had. He guzzles the drink down, and then run's and jumps out the window only to splatter on the ground below.

Bartender picks up the phone and calls an ambulance. "Yea, superman is over here fcuking with people again."


-----------------
Very old joke. I know it's bad but it popped in my head.

[Str8Ryt]

Fcuk you guys for not liking the joke i heard in 6th grade....


What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee you racist ****.