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  1. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Str8Ryt View Post
    Fcuk you guys for not liking the joke i heard in 6th grade....


    What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee you racist ****.
    Hahahaha I laughed more at your response to no one laughing than to the actual joke LOL =P

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  2. #262

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    What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
    A hooker will stop ****ing you when your dead.

    What's the difference between a hooker and Bulldogwrestler?
    A hooker will stop ****ing you when your dead.

  3. #263
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    4,677

    Default

    A little boy walks in on his mommy the shower. He points at her and says what's that? Mommy says well your daddy and i got into an argument and he got so mad he hit me with a hatchet.

    The little boy said, how about that? He hit you right in the cunt!

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  4. #264

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    My gf got mad at me for buying beer, as we are on a tight budget.
    I responded by asking about all the make-up she's always buying,
    "The make-up is for you, so i look pretty!" she said,
    "that's what the beer's for," I answered...

    I don't think she's coming back

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    @jedigavin

  5. #265

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarborough View Post
    My gf got mad at me for buying beer, as we are on a tight budget.
    I responded by asking about all the make-up she's always buying,
    "The make-up is for you, so i look pretty!" she said,
    "that's what the beer's for," I answered...

    I don't think she's coming back

  6. #266
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    4,677

    Default

    3 flamers are sitting in a hot tub. suddenly a giant ball of semen floats to the top. the first guy looks at the other two and says "who the hell farted?"

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  7. #267
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    4,677

    Default

    two missionaries are wandering around in africa and stumble across a tribe of locals. they are taken hostage and brought back to the camp and set in front of the chief. the chief asks the first preacher, you have your choice of death or oogoo. he says well i guess i'll take oogoo. so the chief bends him over and ****s him right there for 30 minutes violently. then he pulls out and cums all over the guy. then the tribe takes turns just banging the crap out of this guy in the front and back. just bang bang bang for three hours they do this and then they take turns cumming all over him. then they stop and eat for a half hour or so and then go back to ****ing the guy and cumming on him and then ****ing him some more, for ten hours this goes on and they stop again and take a nap for a few hours and then they go back to ****ing him. i'm not condoning this kind of sexual abuse btw i'm just reporting it as it happened. just back and forth like a pig on a spit with this guy. did i mention they were ****ing him and cumming on him over and over again. the humanity of it all in retrospect is quite horrifying. just all the ****ing and cumming it just ruins your mind taking it all in. for days they did this. barely more than an hour break here and there. who knows how long this ****ing went on but it was awful. they just came on the poor guy and left him laying in the dirt in front of the fire between bouts so that he was just a crusty ball of dirt and semen and tears and blood and sweat. finally they stopped the oogoo, gave him a wash rag sized piece of antelope hide and sent him off into the wilderness.

    now the chief looked at the second preacher and said well what'll it be, death or oogoo?

    i'll take death

    very well death it is, but first the oogoo

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  8. #268

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    Quote Originally Posted by 19nate79 View Post
    i'll take death

    very well death it is, but first the oogoo
    That's a classic. I heard it as "unga bunga" rather than "oogoo" and the last line was "Fine, death by unga bunga."

    But it's good either way.

  9. #269
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    24,579

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by split decision View Post
    That's a classic. I heard it as "unga bunga" rather than "oogoo" and the last line was "Fine, death by unga bunga."

    But it's good either way.
    Yeah, that's the correct ending.

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  10. #270
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    Cincinnati
    Posts
    4,677

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    Quote Originally Posted by Onion View Post
    Yeah, that's the correct ending.
    i like it this way better, but i can see both working

    quoting gilbert godfrey mostly

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