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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    Default I Want To Get My Neighbor Evicted...

    I live in a duplex, and the guy who lives upstairs is not only incredibly noisy, but he's really sensitive to noise himself (i.e, hates the stereo on here, hates even very low levels of noise like the microwave being used, etc.). More or less, this guy is a pain in the ass to live with, as he's constantly complaining, but never to my face. I can hear him yelling, throwing things in his apartment, and generally acting like a cock.

    Basically, I want to know if anyone knows a good way I can get this guy evicted, or coerce him to move out. So far all I've come up with is sending him a fake eviction notive; I don't think that would work, however. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
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    Originally Posted by Cbear
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    Enter the Bear. Game over.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    London
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    1,177

    Default

    My brother is being stalked by his ex girlfriend. Calling all the time. Waiting by his door / work. Following him to clubs. Turning up to family things.
    When it's petty stuff theres not much police can do. The only thing you can really do is be just as unpleasant back, and be prepared for the eventual psychotic meltdown. Or move.

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  3. #3
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    I don't want to move, I only moved here 5 days ago.
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    Originally Posted by Cbear
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Iowa
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    13,835

    Default

    You could try blasting that Beatles mash up you were asking about. That oughta have him packing his sh!t and running for the hills in no time.

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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Chicago
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    You can try the direct route once at least. Just talk to him. Tell him you'll try to put speakers on stands, avoid excessive noise when he sleeps...and ask that he does the same. Once that fails (and it probably will) then you move to step 2 where you demonstrate the consequence of negligent behavior. Like: take a liking to Japanese noise music played at high decibels with the speakers mounted to the ceiling...may I suggest Merzbow?, host VietNamese-Christian-speaking-in-tongue parties, nail noisey stippers when his mom visits, scream SOY SATANAS at the moon every night, mount a small speaker the heating ducts that is connected to a loop of Snow's 'Enformer', cool stuff like that. Paint your rage with a mottled brush.

    Once that fails...then you take the low route and solicit men for sex on Cragslist with his name and address requesting well-hidden pics, pee on his mail, see if you can make him flinch when you see him in the halls etc.


    You need to look at this as a time of fun and catharsis. Remember when they tried to make you eat tuna casarole in the 3rd grade? Make this guy pay for that....and everything else. I have absolutely no mercy for a rude neighbor.
    Last edited by Pirate Eater; 11-23-2007 at 08:33 AM.
    "He does lots of weird zen crap and philosophies to keep himself grounded." Thekillerkiwi

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,177

    Default

    Carpet the ceiling? Actually thats just a random guess - but theres prob something you can do to reduce the noise.

    Or video him all the time and put it on the net. I don't think it's illegal to video someone. Don't blame me though.

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  7. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pirate Eater View Post
    You can try the direct route once at least. Just talk to him. Tell him you'll try to put speakers on stands, avoid excessive noise when he sleeps...and ask that he does the same. Once that fails (and it probably will) then you move to step 2 where you demonstrate the consequence of negligent behavior. Like: take a liking to Japanese noise music played at high decibels with the speakers mounted to the ceiling...may I suggest Merzbow?, host VietNamese-Christian-speaking-in-tongue parties, nail noisey stippers when his mom visits, scream SOY SATANAS at the moon every night, mount a small speaker the heating ducts that is connected to a loop of Snow's 'Enformer', cool stuff like that. Paint your rage with a mottled brush.

    Once that fails...then you take the low route and solicit men for sex on Cragslist with his name and address requesting well-hidden pics, pee on his mail, see if you can make him flinch when you see him in the halls etc.


    You need to look at this as a time of fun and catharsis. Remember when they tried to make you eat tuna casarole in the 3rd grade? Make this guy pay for that....and everything else. I have absolutely no mercy for a rude neighbor.
    You are one disturbed individual, but I definitely like the way you think =P

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  8. #8

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    You could always plant crack in his car/apartment and then call the cops.

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  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pirate Eater View Post
    You can try the direct route once at least. Just talk to him. Tell him you'll try to put speakers on stands, avoid excessive noise when he sleeps...and ask that he does the same. Once that fails (and it probably will) then you move to step 2 where you demonstrate the consequence of negligent behavior. Like: take a liking to Japanese noise music played at high decibels with the speakers mounted to the ceiling...may I suggest Merzbow?, host VietNamese-Christian-speaking-in-tongue parties, nail noisey stippers when his mom visits, scream SOY SATANAS at the moon every night, mount a small speaker the heating ducts that is connected to a loop of Snow's 'Enformer', cool stuff like that. Paint your rage with a mottled brush.

    Once that fails...then you take the low route and solicit men for sex on Cragslist with his name and address requesting well-hidden pics, pee on his mail, see if you can make him flinch when you see him in the halls etc.


    You need to look at this as a time of fun and catharsis. Remember when they tried to make you eat tuna casarole in the 3rd grade? Make this guy pay for that....and everything else. I have absolutely no mercy for a rude neighbor.
    That is some seriously funny *hit there Pirate. God help your current neighbors if you ever get pissed.

    Sofargone

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    905
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    Default

    Well, I do own a number of Merzbow CDs, so I could implement his idea.
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    Originally Posted by Cbear
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    Enter the Bear. Game over.

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