Etiquette for refusing/returning a gift?

[Greezy]

Inb4 this thread takes a gay turn.. oh **** it. Dwarf I think he wants to be inside you. If a male friends buys you something very expensive he wants the D!!

[dhk1980]

Close friends don't keep track of money or who paid for the last meal.Im sure he knew you were poor when he bought it and if it was legal services you provided I'm sure he got off cheap compared to 300 bucks an hour

i'm glad u were more civil this time sloanie and didn't tell him to go eat a bacon.

[dhk1980]

u don't turn down gifts. it's bad etiquette if u do. there, dwarfie.

[don king]

Keep it, and tell him how much you appreciate it. Returning it or letting him know you feel awkward will hurt his feelings. He appreciated what you did for him, and wanted to do something you would appreciate. He's getting a ton of satisfaction from that. Don't take it away from him.

Oh, and enjoy! That's the whole point.

[Shamrocked]

If he couldn't afford to do it he wouldn't have sent the gift. I wouldn't sweat it even a little bit. Send the guy a nice thank you card and maybe even give him a call to tell him how much you appreciate it. Then proceed to slaughter zombies with extreme prejudice.

[Thumpin]

Yeah...a typical newbie marketing consultant, even straight out of college, would probably cost him $30-50 an hour. If you donated as little as 8 hours of your time, he most likely got you the gift and still saved money or broke even.

[seansloan]

He probably also wants to play some games with you if he has one and knows you cant afford one.

[Ash]

I've had to turn a corner in my life the past few years. I used to have a very strict no gift policy that I didn't allow anyone to violate (in fact, the first gift I'd received in like a decade at one point was an M-1 t-shirt Sean sent me here). The guilt of getting something for free used to outweigh the enjoyment the item would give me, which was almost none. I felt like when people gave gifts, it was a burden upon them and they had resentment for both you and the entire situation. A few years back the girl I was with gave me a talkin-to about the whole thing and it sort of changed my tune. She explained the dynamic of gift-giving is not as negative as I thought it was, and that when people give random gifts out of appreciation (take for example, Dwarf's friend getting him a Wii-U), they legitimately want you to enjoy it, and money is almost never a factor in that decision. Someone isn't going to take out a 2nd mortgage or run the risk of living in a van to get you a gift, it's generally money they can afford to blow and you're the recipient of that.

I don't think you should get too bent out of shape about the gift. If this dude did it under his own will, he probably wants you and your family to enjoy it without question. Don't even try to give it back, just say thanks and prop him up a bit.

[Spectre]

He got me a Wii-U. I kinda guessed it'd have swallow my pride and keep it. I was just helping him out with twitter/social media for his new business. He tried to get me to bill him but I refused to since I didn't think I was doing enough to warrant getting paid.

Just pay for dinner next time, and you'll be straight.

[dhk1980]

I've had to turn a corner in my life the past few years. I used to have a very strict no gift policy that I didn't allow anyone to violate (in fact, the first gift I'd received in like a decade at one point was an M-1 t-shirt Sean sent me here). The guilt of getting something for free used to outweigh the enjoyment the item would give me, which was almost none. I felt like when people gave gifts, it was a burden upon them and they had resentment for both you and the entire situation. A few years back the girl I was with gave me a talkin-to about the whole thing and it sort of changed my tune. She explained the dynamic of gift-giving is not as negative as I thought it was, and that when people give random gifts out of appreciation (take for example, Dwarf's friend getting him a Wii-U), they legitimately want you to enjoy it, and money is almost never a factor in that decision. Someone isn't going to take out a 2nd mortgage or run the risk of living in a van to get you a gift, it's generally money they can afford to blow and you're the recipient of that.

I don't think you should get too bent out of shape about the gift. If this dude did it under his own will, he probably wants you and your family to enjoy it without question. Don't even try to give it back, just say thanks and prop him up a bit.

wait, sloanie sent u a T-shirt? i'm mad at you sloanie!!!!!!u better make it up to me when u come to nyc.