Etiquette for refusing/returning a gift?

[dhk1980]

Just pay for dinner next time, and you'll be straight.

yeah, do as juggsy says. that's the best thing to do in this situation.

[don king]

Actually, I've thought this over a bit. There's no way you can keep the gift, because you are going to feel guilty. You can't return it to your friend because he will feel rejected. There's only one solution. PM me your PayPal address and I'll send you enough money to cover the postage. I was raised as a Catholic, so I'll have no trouble dealing with the guilt. I have experience.

[dhk1980]

Actually, I've thought this over a bit. There's no way you can keep the gift, because you are going to feel guilty. You can't return it to your friend because he will feel rejected. There's only one solution. PM me your PayPal address and I'll send you enough money to cover the postage. I was raised as a Catholic, so I'll have no trouble dealing with the guilt. I have experience.

he said it's a Wii. you're too old for that ****. unless that is, if you're planning on giving it to your gay son.

[don king]

he said it's a Wii. you're too old for that ****. unless that is, if you're planning on giving it to your gay son.

Always with the gay bashing

You're right, I am too old. I'm, going to sell it on ebay.

[LordZardoz]

I am calling on the collective knowledge of MMAF.

Recently a close friend of mine gave me a very expensive gift. He didn't tell me he was getting me anything and it was delivered straight to me from Amazon. I think he did it as a thank you for some business stuff I helped him with. I just feel really uncomfortable accepting it. It just way too much even if it was a "thank you". The favour I did him was not that big and certainly wouldn't warrant a gift as expensive as the one he got me.

I should say there is also a bit of male pride in play as I couldn't afford what he got me. My finances aren't great and I wouldn't be able to afford a gift of anywhere near close the same value to give to him. I feel it was a bit of a pity gift too.

I just don't feel right accepting it.

Whats the best way to return it to him? I do

Value of money is relative. Your services may feel like no big thing to you, but to him you may well has pulled his balls out of the fire. As guilty as you feel about accepting the gift, he probably would feel just as guilty about benefiting from your services and not doing anything more than giving you a firm handshake and a thank you.

I would say accept it this time. In the future if you do him any favors that he wants to repay, just insist he take you out to a titty bar and buy you a bunch of lap dances while bankrolling a night of alcohol and blow.

END COMMUNICATION

[thelegend]

I've had to turn a corner in my life the past few years. I used to have a very strict no gift policy that I didn't allow anyone to violate (in fact, the first gift I'd received in like a decade at one point was an M-1 t-shirt Sean sent me here). The guilt of getting something for free used to outweigh the enjoyment the item would give me, which was almost none. I felt like when people gave gifts, it was a burden upon them and they had resentment for both you and the entire situation. A few years back the girl I was with gave me a talkin-to about the whole thing and it sort of changed my tune. She explained the dynamic of gift-giving is not as negative as I thought it was, and that when people give random gifts out of appreciation (take for example, Dwarf's friend getting him a Wii-U), they legitimately want you to enjoy it, and money is almost never a factor in that decision. Someone isn't going to take out a 2nd mortgage or run the risk of living in a van to get you a gift, it's generally money they can afford to blow and you're the recipient of that.

I don't think you should get too bent out of shape about the gift. If this dude did it under his own will, he probably wants you and your family to enjoy it without question. Don't even try to give it back, just say thanks and prop him up a bit.

Highlights: SeanSloan wants to give Ash the D, and Ash got pussywhipped by his ex into receiving gifts

[Ash]